1 00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:04,860 Good morning, Pam. 2 00:00:04,930 --> 00:00:06,730 Oh, welcome back, Andy. 3 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:09,100 Drew. I'm Drew now. 4 00:00:09,170 --> 00:00:11,830 Oh, Drew. Sorry. 5 00:00:12,310 --> 00:00:14,330 Apology not accepted. 6 00:00:15,510 --> 00:00:18,970 Because it wasn't even necessary in the first place. 7 00:00:19,650 --> 00:00:23,140 Several weeks ago, Andy Bernard had an incident. 8 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,850 But after five weeks in anger management, 9 00:00:29,020 --> 00:00:33,050 I'm back, and I've got a new attitude and a new name 10 00:00:34,060 --> 00:00:36,500 and a bunch of new techniques 11 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,160 for dealing with the grumpies. 12 00:00:38,230 --> 00:00:39,830 Morning, Jim. 13 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,130 Hey, Andy. How are you, man? 14 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,640 Good. Drew. 15 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:44,760 What's that? 16 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,470 You can call me Drew. 17 00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:48,370 No, I'm not gonna call you that. 18 00:00:48,910 --> 00:00:50,210 Cool. 19 00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:54,080 I can't control what you do. I can only control what I do. 20 00:00:54,150 --> 00:00:55,170 Andy. 21 00:00:55,250 --> 00:00:56,310 Drew. 22 00:00:58,520 --> 00:00:59,850 Dwight. 23 00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:02,950 How's it going, man? 24 00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:08,090 Yes. I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years. 25 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,030 Which I'm looking forward to. 26 00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:12,000 It's an Amish technique. 27 00:01:12,070 --> 00:01:14,260 It's like slapping someone with silence. 28 00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:17,140 I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday 29 00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:19,870 for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna. 30 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:23,010 Jim, could you please inform Andy Bernard 31 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:24,880 that he is being shunned? 32 00:01:25,580 --> 00:01:28,880 Andy, Dwight says welcome back and that he could use a hug. 33 00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:31,250 Okay. Tell him that that's not true. 34 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:32,910 Dwight says that he actually doesn't know 35 00:01:32,990 --> 00:01:34,510 one single fact about bear attacks. 36 00:01:34,590 --> 00:01:35,580 Okay. No, Jim. You guys. 37 00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:39,290 Tell him that bears can climb faster than they can run. 38 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,300 Jim, tell him! 39 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:44,030 Andy... No, it's too far. 40 00:01:44,530 --> 00:01:45,690 Damn you. 41 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,950 Today is safety training day. 42 00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:12,690 Toby is leading ours upstairs. 43 00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:17,260 But I am giving everyone a little bit of a treat. 44 00:02:17,330 --> 00:02:20,530 We are going to listen in on Darryl's presentation at the warehouse. 45 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,660 And if I know Darryl, it gonna be zoppity. 46 00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,470 Now, 47 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,430 this is the forklift. 48 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,410 You need a license to operate this machine. 49 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,750 That means the upstairs office workers can't drive it. 50 00:02:35,820 --> 00:02:37,620 Quiz. Mike. 51 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,150 Should you drive the forklift? 52 00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:40,280 I can and I have. 53 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,090 No, no, no! I said, "Should you?" 54 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:43,720 You should not drive it. 55 00:02:43,860 --> 00:02:45,420 You should not drive the forklift. 56 00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:47,190 You understand? You're not allowed to drive the forklift. 57 00:02:47,260 --> 00:02:48,860 It's not safe. You don't have a license. 58 00:02:48,930 --> 00:02:51,560 Guys, I'm not the only one who's driven the forklift. 59 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:52,860 Pudge has driven the forklift. 60 00:02:52,930 --> 00:02:54,270 Madge. 61 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:55,670 I thought your name was Pudge. 62 00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:57,640 No. It's always been Madge. 63 00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:58,940 Okay. 64 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,300 Her. 65 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:05,040 Her? Yes, "Her" is qualified to work a dangerous machine. You are not. 66 00:03:06,180 --> 00:03:07,810 Okay? Fine. 67 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,910 Do you understand that? Yes. 68 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:14,080 We do safety training every year or after an accident. 69 00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:16,710 We've never made it a full year. 70 00:03:17,060 --> 00:03:18,820 This particular time, I was reaching 71 00:03:18,890 --> 00:03:21,020 for a supply box on the top shelf 72 00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:25,370 when one office worker, who shall remain nameless, 73 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,430 kicked the ladder out from under me and yelled... 74 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,370 Hey, Darryl, how's it hanging? 75 00:03:32,270 --> 00:03:34,900 And I fell and busted my ankle and... 76 00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:37,500 I'm legitimately scared for my workers. 77 00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:40,950 The baler can flatten a car engine. 78 00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:43,410 It can cut off your arm and crush 79 00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:46,150 your entire body without skipping a beat. 80 00:03:46,220 --> 00:03:47,310 Yeah! 81 00:03:48,390 --> 00:03:50,990 How many people a year do you think get their arms 82 00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:52,620 cut off in a baler? 83 00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:54,090 Bale 'er? I hardly know her. 84 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:55,690 Damn it, Michael, pay attention, man. 85 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,560 Anybody want to take a guess? 86 00:03:57,630 --> 00:03:59,260 Five bucks says it's over fifty. 87 00:03:59,330 --> 00:04:00,830 You really want to bet? Anybody? 88 00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:03,530 Ever since March Madness ended, I am so bored. 89 00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,160 How many? Okay. You're on. 90 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,070 Ten people. Michael. 91 00:04:07,140 --> 00:04:08,370 Ten people. 92 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,070 Would you like to be one of them? 93 00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:11,940 No, don't worry about it. We'll just go double or nothing. 94 00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:13,140 On what? 95 00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:14,310 I don't know. I'll figure something out. 96 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:15,680 Nice. What are you guys talking about? 97 00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:17,850 These are very dangerous machines 98 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,350 down here and the upstairs workers... 99 00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:21,820 Michael? 100 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:23,830 ...should not go anywhere near them. 101 00:04:23,890 --> 00:04:25,120 Yes. Yes. 102 00:04:25,190 --> 00:04:26,890 But it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world... 103 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,860 It would be the worst thing in the world. It would. 104 00:04:28,930 --> 00:04:30,300 What the hell is wrong with this man? Very much so. 105 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,770 It's a big red trash compactor. 106 00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:33,170 It's not a trash compactor! 107 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,170 It's very dangerous, okay. 108 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,430 Don't disrespect a baler, Mike. 109 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,530 All right, all right, I got it! I got it! 110 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,130 Only on the rarest of occasions would I go near... 111 00:04:39,210 --> 00:04:41,340 No, you don't touch it! There is no occasion 112 00:04:41,410 --> 00:04:43,470 for you to go near this stuff, okay? 113 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:45,950 Toby now has the floor 114 00:04:46,450 --> 00:04:48,750 and he is going to try not to screw this up 115 00:04:48,820 --> 00:04:50,910 like everything else in his life. 116 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,010 Let me rephrase that. 117 00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:55,520 I believe that you can do safety training 118 00:04:55,590 --> 00:04:58,080 and make it sound just as good as Darryl. 119 00:04:58,730 --> 00:05:00,220 Here we go! 120 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:03,430 Okay, one thing you're going to want to 121 00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:05,300 look out for is carpal tunnel syndrome. 122 00:05:05,370 --> 00:05:07,460 It's recommended that you take a 10-minute break 123 00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:09,230 from typing every hour. 124 00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:11,540 For your circulation, you're going to 125 00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:13,200 want to get up out of your chairs 126 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,470 and move around for about 10 minutes every hour. 127 00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:19,450 Yes. Good. Fine. Like stretching and... 128 00:05:19,510 --> 00:05:23,420 Yeah, your computer screen can be a big strain on your eyes, 129 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:28,220 so it's also recommended that you step away for about 10 minutes every hour. 130 00:05:28,290 --> 00:05:30,690 Wow? That is... That time really adds up. 131 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,960 That's like a half an hour, every hour? 132 00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:35,190 Take them at the same time. 133 00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:37,730 Okay. You know what? You're making it sound kind of lame. 134 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,790 So skip ahead to the really dangerous stuff. 135 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:45,100 Like sometimes computers can explode, can they not? 136 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:46,770 No. No. 137 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:50,710 You always want to keep a sweater or cardigan 138 00:05:50,780 --> 00:05:52,710 of some sort in case it gets drafty. 139 00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:53,810 What about a long-sleeved tee? 140 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:54,870 That will work. 141 00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:56,820 Long johns? A shawl? 142 00:05:57,050 --> 00:05:58,420 You know, anything that warms you. 143 00:05:58,490 --> 00:06:00,350 Okay, you know what, I think that everybody 144 00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:02,190 is going to vomit due to boredom. 145 00:06:02,260 --> 00:06:04,420 Sorry. He is very lame. 146 00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,690 Let's see. 147 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,360 Seasonal affective disorder. 148 00:06:10,430 --> 00:06:12,330 A depression that includes weight gain, 149 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,960 fatigue, irritability, brought on by the low light of winter. 150 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,200 Thank God we only had a baler to deal with. 151 00:06:18,270 --> 00:06:19,870 Yeah, that dim light is a bitch, ain't it? 152 00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:21,140 Okay. Guys, you know what? 153 00:06:21,210 --> 00:06:24,110 I didn't interrupt when you were having your presentation. 154 00:06:24,180 --> 00:06:25,880 Actually, you did. 155 00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:27,210 Yes. 156 00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:29,680 Okay. Let's do another one. 157 00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:30,950 This is a good one. 158 00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:33,890 A particular concern for office workers 159 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:37,190 is a sedimentary lifestyle which can contribute... 160 00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:38,730 Sedentary. 161 00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:42,760 Yes. Which can contribute to heart disease. 162 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,090 Heart disease kills more people than balers. 163 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,670 That's called having a fat butt, Michael. 164 00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:50,470 No. No, it's sedentary. 165 00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,230 Yeah, that's fat butt disease. 166 00:06:52,310 --> 00:06:53,470 That's what you suffer from? 167 00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:55,070 You have fat butt disease, Michael? 168 00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:57,170 Excuse me, sea monster, you weigh like a thousand pounds. 169 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,300 Yeah? Yeah. 170 00:06:58,380 --> 00:07:00,280 I bet you'd like to swim with this sea monster, wouldn't you? 171 00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:01,410 Ryan! 172 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:02,750 Dude, please tell your girl to shut up. 173 00:07:02,820 --> 00:07:03,790 What? 174 00:07:03,850 --> 00:07:05,320 Kelly, you've insulted the gentleman. 175 00:07:05,390 --> 00:07:06,360 Please apologize. 176 00:07:06,420 --> 00:07:07,350 Are you kidding me? 177 00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:08,480 All right, we out of here. 178 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,680 Darryl, I did not walk out in the middle of yours, so... 179 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,560 Yeah, but ours was real, Michael. 180 00:07:12,630 --> 00:07:13,620 Yes. 181 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,160 That's what we've been trying to tell you, Mike. 182 00:07:15,230 --> 00:07:16,820 It's serious down there. 183 00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:20,840 We do dangerous stuff, man. This is shenanigans, foolishness. 184 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,470 Nerf ball. 185 00:07:22,740 --> 00:07:25,400 You live a sweet little nerfy life 186 00:07:25,970 --> 00:07:27,530 sitting on your biscuit 187 00:07:27,610 --> 00:07:29,310 never having to risk it. 188 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:32,670 Okay. 189 00:07:37,050 --> 00:07:39,520 What? So, Nerf isn't cool anymore? 190 00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:42,960 Darryl thinks he's such a man because he works in a warehouse. 191 00:07:43,020 --> 00:07:44,190 Well, big deal! 192 00:07:44,260 --> 00:07:47,320 I worked in a warehouse. Men's Wearhouse. 193 00:07:47,730 --> 00:07:49,320 I was a greeter. 194 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,630 I'd like to see Darryl greet people. 195 00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,230 He'd probably make them feel like wimps. 196 00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:54,700 Not me, I... 197 00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:00,600 Hello, I'm Michael. Welcome to Men's Wearhouse. 198 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,040 We have a special on khaki pants today. 199 00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:06,870 This is one example. 200 00:08:10,150 --> 00:08:11,210 Ten. 201 00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:13,720 Really? Ten? That's your guess? 202 00:08:13,790 --> 00:08:15,090 You're a professional accountant. 203 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,820 There's, like, 10 green ones. 204 00:08:16,890 --> 00:08:17,920 Forty-two. 205 00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:19,020 I'm going to say 50. 206 00:08:19,090 --> 00:08:20,720 51. Don't be that person. 207 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,490 Oh, come on. That is lame. It's a strategy. 208 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,530 It's called being smart. Thank you. 209 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:25,620 Oh, jeez. 210 00:08:26,770 --> 00:08:28,900 I don't know how the whole betting thing started, 211 00:08:28,970 --> 00:08:30,300 but it's fun. 212 00:08:30,370 --> 00:08:31,470 Ten. Ten's out. 213 00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:33,700 Damn it! Forty-seven, 48, 214 00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,680 forty-nine. Jim wins. 215 00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:36,800 That is not fair. 216 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,970 He has spent hours up here at reception with you. 217 00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:42,310 Hours and hours. 218 00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:43,750 Okay. Okay. 219 00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:45,120 No, constantly. Like for years. 220 00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:46,180 Okay. 221 00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:49,380 Pam, depression is as scary as a baler, right? 222 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,250 I don't understand the question. 223 00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:55,820 Working in an office can lead to depression, which can lead to suicide. 224 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,530 I mean this is really serious stuff. 225 00:08:59,770 --> 00:09:00,930 Yeah. 226 00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:04,230 Nobody commits suicide because they work with a baler. 227 00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:06,570 And yet those guys are making fun of me, 228 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:07,870 calling me a Nerf. 229 00:09:07,940 --> 00:09:08,910 That... 230 00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:11,280 It's really hard to demonstrate depression. 231 00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:14,180 Their safety training had visuals. 232 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:15,510 Yeah. 233 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,950 You are so right. 234 00:09:19,390 --> 00:09:22,790 They have visual aids and all we had were the facts. 235 00:09:22,860 --> 00:09:24,880 You don't go to the science museum 236 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,050 and get handed a pamphlet on electricity. 237 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:32,460 You go to the science museum and you put your hand on a metal ball 238 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:34,560 and your hair sticks up straight. 239 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,160 And you know science. 240 00:09:36,870 --> 00:09:38,460 So, you're okay? 241 00:09:38,540 --> 00:09:39,940 Indubitably. 242 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:44,140 They used props, they used visual aids 243 00:09:44,210 --> 00:09:47,510 and they just made us look like dopes. 244 00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:50,310 Idiots! God, what are we going to do? 245 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,790 I don't know. I don't know. 246 00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:54,050 Because you know what our killer is? 247 00:09:54,290 --> 00:09:56,380 Depression. Wolves. 248 00:09:56,660 --> 00:09:57,820 Depression. 249 00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:59,860 Visual aids. Yes. 250 00:09:59,930 --> 00:10:02,120 A quilt. A depression quilt. 251 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,000 No time to sew a quilt. 252 00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:08,230 I got it. 253 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,200 Get me the number for the Giant Big Box Toy Store. 254 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,710 You may be asking yourself 255 00:10:17,780 --> 00:10:19,840 what am I doing on a trampoline? 256 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,610 Well, I thought I'd bounce here for a while, 257 00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:25,480 relieve some stress and then move on with my day. 258 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,750 Not. Here's a plan. 259 00:10:28,190 --> 00:10:29,380 Dwight is going to gather 260 00:10:29,460 --> 00:10:33,020 all of the office workers and all of the warehouse guys 261 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:35,390 and we're going to have another safety seminar. 262 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:37,230 Only this time, where's Michael? 263 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:39,730 Oh, my God, he is on the roof. 264 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,630 And now I have got their attention. 265 00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:45,730 I tell them about the cold hard facts of depression. 266 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,970 And then I say, "Hey, you ever seen a suicide?" 267 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,170 And I jump. 268 00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:54,650 And they freak out. And they get to see 269 00:10:55,180 --> 00:10:57,810 the dangers of depression with their own eyes. 270 00:10:58,290 --> 00:11:00,220 Nice side note, they might think, 271 00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:02,050 "Hey, I should have been nicer to Michael." 272 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,350 But that's not why I'm doing this. 273 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,950 Then I land on the trampoline, 274 00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:07,520 take a couple extra bounces for fun. 275 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,690 I climb off, walk around the corner, 276 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,490 ta-freaking-da. 277 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,860 So then the next movie moves to the top of the queue. 278 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,230 So number five becomes number four, 279 00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:16,670 number six becomes number five, 280 00:11:16,740 --> 00:11:19,210 number three becomes number two, etcetera, etcetera. 281 00:11:19,270 --> 00:11:20,740 And let's just say that I just sent back 282 00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:22,570 Love Actually, which was awesome. 283 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,340 And they sent me Uptown Girls, which is also awesome. 284 00:11:25,410 --> 00:11:27,910 But guess what, now I want to see Love Actually again, 285 00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:29,250 but it's at the bottom of the queue. 286 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,910 Oh, no, what do I do? 287 00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,280 What I do is this. 288 00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:34,080 I go online, I go click, click, click 289 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,650 and I change the order of the queue, 290 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,090 so that I can see Love Actually as soon as I want to. 291 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,090 It's so easy, Ryan. 292 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:43,130 Do you really not know how Netflix works? 293 00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:45,260 I guess I forgot. 294 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,970 You're such a ditz. 295 00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:51,670 Ryan, well done. Two minutes, 42 seconds. 296 00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:53,670 Additionally, Pam, you win $10 297 00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:55,730 because she said "awesome" 12 times. 298 00:11:55,940 --> 00:11:59,680 And Jim, you win $5 because she mentioned six romantic comedies. 299 00:11:59,950 --> 00:12:02,940 Okay, let's do this thing! I'll go summon the troops! 300 00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:05,280 Maybe we should test this first. 301 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,150 Letterman style. Throw a TV over or... 302 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,620 We measured it once. 303 00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:13,420 Go buy some watermelons. 304 00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:15,190 Seedless? 305 00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,860 Just... 306 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,970 Creed is eating an apple. 307 00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,870 I found a potato. 308 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:29,500 Hey, Creed. 309 00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:30,770 Hey. 310 00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:40,380 Yes! 311 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,510 Here you go. 312 00:12:41,790 --> 00:12:42,780 What? 313 00:12:42,860 --> 00:12:43,880 Nice! 314 00:12:44,990 --> 00:12:47,900 I don't know this place as well as I thought I did. 315 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,830 I'm getting cleaned out. 316 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:50,990 Ready? 317 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:52,660 Let's do it. Drop that sucker. 318 00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:55,200 Yeah! Bingo! 319 00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:01,730 Deactivate the car alarm, clean up the mess. 320 00:13:01,810 --> 00:13:02,780 Okay. 321 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,710 Find out whose car that is. 322 00:13:04,780 --> 00:13:07,270 If it's Stanley's, call the offices of James P. Albini, 323 00:13:07,350 --> 00:13:08,440 see if he handles hate crimes. 324 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:09,480 Got it. 325 00:13:09,550 --> 00:13:11,250 Also, take apart the trampoline. Stick it in the baler. 326 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:12,650 We're not allowed to use the baler. 327 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,320 Have Padge do it or the sea monster. 328 00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:16,480 I'm on it. 329 00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:22,490 I'm temporarily lifting the shun. 330 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:23,620 Thank you. 331 00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:25,890 It means nothing. I need you to do something for me. 332 00:13:25,970 --> 00:13:27,090 Anything. 333 00:13:27,170 --> 00:13:28,260 Okay, calm down. 334 00:13:28,340 --> 00:13:32,430 I need you to acquire an inflatable house and/or castle. 335 00:13:32,710 --> 00:13:33,970 You mean a Moonbounce. 336 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:35,940 What do you think? You've got an hour. 337 00:13:36,010 --> 00:13:37,410 I'm going to need petty cash. 338 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:38,810 Shunning resumed. 339 00:13:40,010 --> 00:13:41,880 Do you want a drawbridge? 340 00:13:41,950 --> 00:13:43,250 Un-shun. 341 00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,210 Yeah, that sounds good. Re-shun. 342 00:13:48,590 --> 00:13:51,650 Oh, yeah, this is much better. It's safer. 343 00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:53,130 Excellent decision. 344 00:13:53,190 --> 00:13:55,290 Yes. Thank you for seeing that. 345 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,990 When you land, try and land like an eight-year-old. 346 00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,230 These bouncy castles are not designed for adults. 347 00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:01,390 I don't know if I want to do this. 348 00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:02,460 Want to do another test? 349 00:14:02,540 --> 00:14:03,700 I got plenty of watermelons in my trunk. 350 00:14:03,770 --> 00:14:05,030 No. 351 00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:06,770 No more. The tests are going terrible. 352 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,810 If we keep doing them, I'm not going to want to jump. 353 00:14:10,510 --> 00:14:11,810 This is about doing, not thinking. 354 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:12,850 Right! 355 00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:14,710 Doing! Totally doing! 356 00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:16,440 Let's rock and roll! Rock and roll! 357 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,420 Yeah! That's right, I'm not thinking! 358 00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:21,450 Yes! Yeah! 359 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,220 Michael is awesome 360 00:14:23,290 --> 00:14:24,990 Jumping off the roof 361 00:14:25,060 --> 00:14:26,860 Bouncing on a bouncy thing 362 00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:28,450 Show them who is boss 363 00:14:28,530 --> 00:14:30,520 Rip a hole in the sun! 364 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,570 I am ready to do this! 365 00:14:32,630 --> 00:14:34,400 I'm ready to make a point! 366 00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:38,700 Hey! Guys, listen up, 367 00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:42,400 Michael is up on the roof and acting strange. 368 00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:45,470 What's the situation? 369 00:14:45,550 --> 00:14:50,110 Un-shun. I think he's suffering from depression. Re-shun. 370 00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:51,680 Okay, when is the shunning thing going to end? 371 00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:54,020 Un-shun. Never. Re-shun. 372 00:14:54,090 --> 00:14:55,450 I think he wants you all to come out 373 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,550 to the parking lot and watch him die. 374 00:14:58,360 --> 00:14:59,420 Is it nice outside? 375 00:14:59,490 --> 00:15:00,890 It's gorgeous. Let's go! 376 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,020 Do I need my jacket? 377 00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,220 No, it really is. It's very nice. 378 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,560 Come on! 379 00:15:04,630 --> 00:15:05,830 Will I be too warm in a long-sleeved tee? 380 00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:09,700 Everyone's going to be fine in exactly what they're wearing! Let's go! 381 00:15:11,740 --> 00:15:13,000 Let's go! 382 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:18,570 Come on! Hurry up, you guys! 383 00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:19,740 My life! 384 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,720 Oh, my life! 385 00:15:23,150 --> 00:15:25,090 Michael, what's wrong? 386 00:15:25,490 --> 00:15:27,010 Everything's wrong. 387 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,690 The stress of my modern office 388 00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:32,160 has caused me to go into a depression! 389 00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:37,690 Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out? 390 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,500 Dwight, you ignorant slut. 391 00:15:39,670 --> 00:15:42,470 Depression is a very serious illness. 392 00:15:42,570 --> 00:15:47,630 Over 32,000 people commit suicide every year 393 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,040 according to a 2004 study. 394 00:15:50,110 --> 00:15:52,100 Is that the last year the data was available? 395 00:15:52,180 --> 00:15:53,240 Yes. 396 00:15:53,310 --> 00:15:56,610 My head is in such pain and turmoil. 397 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:58,720 Don't do anything rash. 398 00:15:58,790 --> 00:16:00,880 Dwight, where are the warehouse guys? 399 00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:02,750 I didn't... 400 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,090 I didn't think you needed them for this part. 401 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:09,990 Okay. That's... 402 00:16:10,060 --> 00:16:11,090 You said to just... 403 00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:12,160 That's the whole point, dummy. 404 00:16:12,230 --> 00:16:13,360 Okay. I'm on it. 405 00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:14,830 Okay? 406 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,060 Attention, blue-collar workers! 407 00:16:19,570 --> 00:16:22,270 What are the odds that this is in any way real? 408 00:16:22,580 --> 00:16:25,070 I'd say, like, 10,000 to one. 409 00:16:25,210 --> 00:16:27,710 Okay, I'd like 10 bucks on those odds. 410 00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:33,990 If someone gives you 10,000 to one on anything, you take it. 411 00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:37,190 If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, 412 00:16:37,790 --> 00:16:41,460 I am going to be a very rich dude. 413 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,760 Michael is up on the roof and he's acting strange. 414 00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:48,100 Oh, my life. 415 00:16:48,170 --> 00:16:49,930 Michael, what's wrong? 416 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,060 Everything is wrong, Dwight. 417 00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:56,040 The stress of my modern office has made me depressed. 418 00:16:56,110 --> 00:17:00,010 Depressed? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out? 419 00:17:00,110 --> 00:17:01,640 Dwight, you ignorant slut! 420 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,310 Well, you know, the first performance was a little off, 421 00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:07,690 but I really think they hit their stride in the second show. 422 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,560 I might even bring my parents tomorrow to the matinee. 423 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:12,920 And that is why... 424 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,160 Oh, excuse me. It's my favorite part. 425 00:17:15,230 --> 00:17:16,420 ...I am going to jump off this roof! 426 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,130 This is just offensive. 427 00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:19,530 At least we're outside. 428 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,300 Hey, check it out, there's a castle over there. 429 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,570 Oh, my God, there is a castle. 430 00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:27,670 No. There's nothing to see over there, people. 431 00:17:27,740 --> 00:17:29,470 There's nothing to see. 432 00:17:31,380 --> 00:17:33,180 They found the castle, Michael. 433 00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:34,410 Damn it! 434 00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:40,280 Oh, God. Oh, my God, he's going to jump. 435 00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:46,790 He's going to kill himself pretending to kill himself. 436 00:17:46,860 --> 00:17:48,060 Yeah. 437 00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:49,260 Excuse me. 438 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,470 Hey, Michael, 439 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,830 don't jump on the bouncy castle. 440 00:17:58,140 --> 00:18:02,080 You can't do that 'cause you're going to get horribly, horribly injured. 441 00:18:02,610 --> 00:18:03,940 Hey, Michael, 442 00:18:04,810 --> 00:18:08,210 I have a present for you but you have to come down and get it. 443 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:10,840 What is it? 444 00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:13,110 Come down and open it and you'll see. 445 00:18:13,190 --> 00:18:15,120 Dwight, find out what the present is. 446 00:18:15,190 --> 00:18:17,420 Okay, I don't see anything. 447 00:18:17,490 --> 00:18:18,690 She might be bluffing. 448 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,130 Dwight. Dwight. 449 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:25,690 It's a... 450 00:18:25,770 --> 00:18:30,360 A Repliee-Q-One-Expo female robot. 451 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,100 They're only available in Japan. 452 00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:33,540 Dwight, you are such a liar. 453 00:18:33,610 --> 00:18:35,040 Pam, really what is it? 454 00:18:35,110 --> 00:18:37,810 Mike, this is the opposite of safety. 455 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:39,740 You jump, you're going to seriously hurt yourself. 456 00:18:39,810 --> 00:18:41,940 You told me that I lead a... 457 00:18:42,980 --> 00:18:46,320 A cushy, wimpy Nerf life. 458 00:18:46,820 --> 00:18:47,950 Yeah. 459 00:18:48,020 --> 00:18:50,750 But I never said you had nothing to live for. 460 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,620 What do I have to live for? 461 00:18:52,930 --> 00:18:54,590 A lot of things. 462 00:18:57,230 --> 00:18:58,390 You... 463 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,830 What about Jan? 464 00:19:06,910 --> 00:19:09,470 Lovely, lovely, lovely Jan, man. 465 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,370 It's going good, right? 466 00:19:12,650 --> 00:19:14,380 It's complicated with Jan. 467 00:19:15,620 --> 00:19:18,450 And I don't know where I stand or what I want. 468 00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:22,050 The sex isn't nearly as good as it used to be. 469 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,110 Mike, 470 00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:25,920 you're a very brave man. 471 00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:28,430 I mean it takes courage just to be you. 472 00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:31,790 To get out of bed every single day, 473 00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:35,130 knowing full well you got to be you. 474 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,000 Do you really mean that? 475 00:19:38,070 --> 00:19:39,440 I couldn't do it. 476 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,370 I ain't that strong and I ain't that brave. 477 00:19:42,510 --> 00:19:43,670 I'm braver than you? 478 00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:45,040 Way braver. 479 00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:47,070 You Braveheart, man. 480 00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:51,610 I Braveheart. 481 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:54,710 I am. 482 00:19:55,790 --> 00:19:57,190 Come on down, okay? 483 00:19:57,260 --> 00:19:58,320 Okay. 484 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,130 Pam, I'm coming down to get my present. 485 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:07,230 An office is as safe as the people in it. 486 00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:11,300 And sometimes those people can drive you to do crazy things 487 00:20:11,370 --> 00:20:15,400 to show the dangers of the office. 488 00:20:15,610 --> 00:20:18,100 That's the danger I found myself in today. 489 00:20:19,150 --> 00:20:20,440 I saved a life. 490 00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:22,580 My own. 491 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,310 Am I a hero? 492 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,280 I really can't say, but yes.